Dad and I had a strained relationship all through childhood and young adulthood. Then our mother died, and I realized that she KNEW I loved her because I told her every time I called home, but it had been years since I had told dad. That day I changed and started to tell him that I loved him. I'd try to hug him, and he'd push me away. It took seven years, but finally one day he let me hug him openly, and when I told him I loved him, instead of ignoring it, he'd say, "Uh huh!" which I knew is as close as a kid could get from hearing those three words from him. It wasn't that he didn't love us, it was that he showed it differently, by making sure we had food, clothing, house and car repairs, etc. and by being there whenever we needed him. I am so blessed that we reconciled several decades before Alzheimer's set in for him and that he knew I loved him. The last time I told him I loved him was a whisper in his ear as he lay in his casket, for me it was a healing whisper of closure, and somehow - I KNOW he heard me.
How about you?
If your dad still lives, don't waste a minute on trouble and strife. Gather him close and love him. Parents may not always love us the way we think they should or even the way we think we need them to, but that doesn't mean they don't love us; what they share may be the way they have been taught how to show love from their parents, and it is something to be treasured.
1 comment:
Dad and I had a strained relationship all through childhood and young adulthood. Then our mother died, and I realized that she KNEW I loved her because I told her every time I called home, but it had been years since I had told dad. That day I changed and started to tell him that I loved him. I'd try to hug him, and he'd push me away. It took seven years, but finally one day he let me hug him openly, and when I told him I loved him, instead of ignoring it, he'd say, "Uh huh!" which I knew is as close as a kid could get from hearing those three words from him. It wasn't that he didn't love us, it was that he showed it differently, by making sure we had food, clothing, house and car repairs, etc. and by being there whenever we needed him. I am so blessed that we reconciled several decades before Alzheimer's set in for him and that he knew I loved him. The last time I told him I loved him was a whisper in his ear as he lay in his casket, for me it was a healing whisper of closure, and somehow - I KNOW he heard me.
How about you?
If your dad still lives, don't waste a minute on trouble and strife. Gather him close and love him. Parents may not always love us the way we think they should or even the way we think we need them to, but that doesn't mean they don't love us; what they share may be the way they have been taught how to show love from their parents, and it is something to be treasured.
With love.
God bless.
RB
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